Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Should You Take a Cheater Back? – Here’s How to Decide

Under what circumstances should you take a cheater back? How do you decide whether or not to give a cheating spouse or significant other a second chance? It depends on the circumstances under which the cheating occurred, and the cheater’s attitude about the affair.

When to Consider Giving the Cheater a Second Chance

If the cheater is genuinely sorry, has severed all ties with the Other Woman or the Other Man, and is willing to fully cooperate and do the hard work necessary to restore the relationship and rebuild the broken trust, then you might want to consider taking the cheater back and giving him or her a second chance if the infidelity occurred under the following circumstances:

• As an isolated incident, such as a one night stand.
• Under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
• While going through a midlife crisis.
• As a misguided response to a life crisis such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job.
• In cases of sexual addiction, where the cheater is seeking, or willing to seek medical or professional help.

But forgiveness shouldn’t be handed over on a silver platter. It’s something you need to make the cheater earn. Otherwise, you’re only setting the stage for the cheating to happen again.

When NOT to Give the Cheater a Second Chance

It’s probably not a good idea to give the cheater a second chance if he or she:

• Refuses to sever ties with the Other Woman or the Other Man
• Continues to lie about any aspect of the affair
• Is a habitual or serial cheater who has had one or more affairs in the past
• Feels no guilt or remorse for having hurt his/her partner;
• Wants to sweep the affair under the rug and proceed as if nothing has happened
• Feels he or she has a right to cheat or have an extramarital affair
• Does not feel that the cheating was wrong
• Is a sex addict who refuses to seek help

Other Factors to Consider When Deciding if You Should Take a Cheater Back

In addition to the circumstances of the cheating and the cheater’s attitude about the affair, there are several other factors you should take into consideration:

• the type of infidelity
• what stage the affair is in
• the degree of the cheater’s emotional attachment to the Other Woman or the Other Man
• the cheater’s feelings about infidelity in general
• the cheater’s level of commitment to you and to your marriage or relationship,

NOTE: For more information about taking a cheater back, see the article posted on http://www.infidelityadvice.com/ entitled: When Should You Give a Cheater a Second Chance?

A Major Obstacle to Taking the Cheater Back

The biggest obstacle to taking a cheating spouse or significant other back is the fear that the cheater will cheat on you again. It’s a valid fear and the only way to overcome it is to become thoroughly familiar with both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of infidelity. This way, you’ll know right away if the cheating is still going on, or if the cheater is on the verge of cheating again.

Since most of the signs are subtle, knowing what to look for is the key. Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs covers practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. Despite the title, most of the signs in the book apply to both cheating woman and cheating men. The signs are conveniently grouped into 21 major categories, so you can easily find the signs that apply to your mate.

For a free special report with detailed descriptions of each of the 21 categories of infidelity signs, and tips on what kind of signs to look for under each category, e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with 21 Categories Report - b in the subject line.

Affair Recovery Help in the E-book version of Is He Cheating on You?

The e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs available for $37 from http://www.booklocker.com/books/1755.html comes with a bonus section that will be especially helpful if you decide to take back your cheating mate. In addition to 3 other special reports, and a special section for men entitled Is SHE Cheating, the bonus section also contains the following affair recovery information:

• What the Two of You Must Do to Survive Your Husband’s Affair
• Advice for the Husband Who Cheated
• Advice for the Betrayed Wife
• Can Your Marriage Survive His Affair?
• Will He Cheat Again?

NOTE: The affair recovery reports DO NOT come with the soft cover edition of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs ($29.95) The special reports with the affair recovery information, are part of the BONUS SECTION included with the downloadable e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? Click here to order the e-book version of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs now. ($37)

For more information about infidelity, cheating spouses, or extramarital affairs, visit http://www.infidelityadvice.com/

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Anonymous said...

LOUIS KESTENBAUM aka Lezer kestenbaum,ODA , A SATMAR Chasid is being accused. WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP)

A teenage girl has filed a $50 million lawsuit against a New York billionaire, saying he sexually abused her when she was 14. Louis Kestenbaum”s attorney says the allegations are false and motivated by money. (Kestenbaum left in photo)

Kestenbaum is also the CEO of Fortis properties and the ODA a goverment funded organisation in the williamsburg section of Brooklyn NY The girl, now 17, claims Louis Kestenbaum invited her to his Florida mansion in 2005 to perform a massage for $300.

The lawsuit, filed in federal court, claims he demanded she remove her clothes, then sexually assaulted her.The girl, her father and stepmother are seeking more than $50 million.Joel kestenbaum the son of Louis kestenabum had no comments