U.S. Cities with the Most Cheating Husbands

The areas of the United States with the most cheating husbands have been mapped out in a first-of-its-kind geographical look at internet-facilitated infidelity.  This was done as part of a research project conducted by two graduate students from the University of Toledo.

When an anonymous hacker team released stolen customer data from Ashley Madison, the notorious website known for helping married men cheat on their mates, Michael Chohaney and Kimberly Panozzo saw  this as a unique opportunity to examine infidelity patterns in the United States. 

Chohaney and Panozzo put the customer addresses from the Ashley Madison data base onto a map in order to pinpoint the areas of the country where most of these cheaters live. The two researchers began their project in September 2015, one month after infamous data breach, and the resulting paper was recently published online in the journal Geographical Review.*

Below are the 10 U.S. cities with the most cheating husbands: 

1.         Fairfield County, Connecticut

2.         Boulder, Colorado

3.         Jacksonville, North Carolina

4.         Manchester / Nashua, New Hampshire

5.         Washington DC / Alexandria, Virginia

6.         Denver, Colorado

7.         Boston, Massachusetts

8.         Austin, Texas

9.         Salt Lake City, Utah

10.        Colorado Springs, Colorado

Wives who live in these cities should consider themselves warned.

* Michael L. Chohaney et al, Infidelity and the Internet: The Geography of Ashley Madison Usership in the United States, Geographical Review (2016).

New Ways Modern Technology Is Helping Cheaters Cheat

There are 4 apps that cheaters are using to conceal cell phone evidence of infidelity from suspicious mates.  These apps are described below so anyone who suspects their partner of cheating will know how these apps work and what to look for.  But they will not be named order to avoid aiding and abetting infidelity.  After all, why make it any easier for cheaters to cheat?

App #1

This app allows the cheater to hide his or her texts.  It also has a feature which plays an “out of service tone” if the cheater’s mistress or secret lover tries to call at a time that’s inconvenient for the cheater to talk – for example, if their spouse or significant other is nearby.

App #2

If the cheater is concerned about his or her mate snooping around on their iPhone or iPad for signs of infidelity, this app can be set to catch the suspicious in the act.  The cheater can turn on the app whenever they leave their phone or tablet unattended and it displays a false desktop of the usual iPhone applications icons.  But when the would-be detective attempts to check out the device, the front-facing camera is activated and captures a picture of the snooper in the act.

App #3

This app stores images in a hidden area instead of in the main photo library where pictures are usually kept.  The cheater must use a special password to access the secret photos in this hidden vault. The icon for this app looks just like a calculator, is bound to escape the notice of  a suspicious spouse or significant other,  because  most would never would think to check a calculator app for cheating clues.

App #4

This is another app which shows up in disguise on the cheater’s cell phone screen.  It allows the cheater to delete all his or her text messages by simply shaking the cell phone back and forth. If the cheater wants to hide text messages or phone calls from a certain person, that number can be added as a “private contact” and all messages from that person will stored inside the app, safe and secure from prying eyes. 

It’s interesting to note that all of all these applications were actually created for business purposes.   But cheaters have found a way to use these apps to hide evidence of their infidelity in order to keep from getting caught. 

A significant amount of infidelity is detected via cell phone evidence (calls, e-mails, text messages, photos). But as you can see, that may no longer be an option for a suspicious partner trying to get the goods on his or her cheating mate.

Your best bet, if you think your spouse or significant other could be cheating on you, is to circumvent modern technology and search for signs of infidelity the “old-fashioned way”. All you really need are your own eyes and ears, and your personal knowledge of your mate.  Knowing what to look for is the key.  A good infidelity reference book can help.

NOTE: Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs is still the only infidelity book on the market that documents practically every known sign of infidelity.  Despite the title, most of the signs in the book apply to both cheating women and cheating men. Available in softcover or as an e-book

Leading Website for Married Cheaters Tries to Reinvent Itself

After being hit by a massive data breach in the summer of 2015, Ashley Madison, the website for married people seeking to chest on their mates, is trying to reinvent itself.  As part of their corporate makeover, Ashley Madison’s old slogan “Life is short. Have an affair” has been replaced with the more innocuous “Find your moment.”

The notorious website has shifted its focus from exclusively extramarital affairs, and is now to be “about so much more than infidelity.”  Professing to be “about all kinds of adult dating,” the company is billing itself as a place where couples can explore polyamory together, and where people seeking same-sex relationships can do so safely away from the prying eyes of their personal and professional networks.

What Precipitated the Change?

A devastating chain of events in August 2015 precipitated the major change in direction and total repositioning of Ashley Madison, which boasted revenues of $115 million in 2014.

• The Infamous Hack

The website made headlines worldwide in the worst possible way when the names, contact information and sexual preferences of over 30 million of its members were released over the Internet by a team of hackers. Even cheaters and would-be cheaters who paid Ashley Madison an additional $19 fee to delete their accounts were exposed because their names were never removed from the website’s data base. Yet the website represented itself as being a “100% discreet service” that was “100% secure.” All hell “broke loose as divorces were filed, and reports of blackmail and suicides followed the leak.

• A Lying, Cheating CEO Resigns in Shame

Next the reputation and credibility of Ashley Madison’s CEO Noel Biderman took a major hit and he was forced to resign.  In an interview months to the hack, Biderman, a married father with two young children, stated in an interview with the New York Daily News that he had never cheated on his wife, Amanda. In other interviews in which Biderman and his wife appeared together, the couple said they would be "devastated" if their partner cheated.  But over 300 of Biderman’s personal emails released by the hackers revealed that despite his public claims of marital fidelity, Biderman himself had engaged in multiple affairs over a period of several years.  One can only imagine Amanda Biderman’s humiliation when her husband’s own infidelity became known to the entire world. Ten days later, Biderman resigned. 

• Multimillion Lawsuits Abound

The massive data breach made Ashley Madison the target of multiple lawsuits.  In a settlement in December 2016, Ashley Madison agreed to pay $1.65 million, to be divided among 13 states and the Federal Trade Commission. The government initially sought a $17.5 million penalty, but agreed to the lower amount because of the parent company’s inability to pay.  NOTE:  As part of its corporate makeover, Avid Life which also operates a variety of other dating services, renamed itself Ruby Corp. The Canadian-based company was found guilty of using lax online security, misleading users, and creating fake female profiles (bots) specifically designed trick male customers into believing there were more women on the site than there actually were.  And it’s not over yet. Ashley Madison/Avid Life Media / Ruby Corp. still faces the prospect of multiple million class action lawsuits by angry American and Canadian customers.

Still Alive and Kicking

For years, even though Ashley Madison was the premiere dating site for married men seeking extramarital affairs, I adamantly refused to mention the website by name in my infidelity columns to keep from encouraging curious would-be-cheaters to seek it out. I referred to it only as “a website for married cheaters” so as not to titillate the interest of any husband who was even remotely contemplating cheating on his wife.

However, Ashley Madison has become a household name after the secret lives of its members were exposed, and now the whole world is familiar with the website and what it does.  Today the controversial website claims to have "over 46 million members."  It remains to be seen whether or not that’s actually true.

After the fallout from the hacking scandal, it’s surprising that Ashley Madison is still in business and has any members at all -- which only proves that there are untold numbers of people out there who are determined to cheat on their mates.

Some people never learn.