14 Problems Work Spouse Relationships Can Cause

Although many people consider work spouse relationships harmless, I totally disagree with this view. The biggest problem is that a work spouse relationship can turn into a full-blown workplace affair, and wreak havoc on the personal lives of the work husband or work wife involved.

But even if a work spouse relationship doesn’t escalate into a workplace affair, it can still create a multitude of problems on a professional level, including the 14 listed below.

• Co-workers envious of the relationship between you and your work husband / work wife may attempt to sabotage your work.

• Your productivity or the productivity of your work spouse or those around you may suffer.

• You and your work husband / work wife could become the subject of office gossip.

• If your work spouse relationship results in preferential treatment with regard to work assignments, raises, promotions or company perks your co-workers will resent you.

• A work spouse relationship with your boss will may you a reputation as someone trying to sleep their way to the top.

• If you are a woman, and your work spouse relationship becomes a problem, you may be transferred to another department or asked to leave the company. Usually the woman who’s penalized when these office spouse relationships become a problem.

• If you’re a man, and the relationship with your work wife goes south, you may find yourself facing sexual harassment charges.

• The situation could become awkward, if your work spouse relationship deteriorates, and the two of you still have to work together.

• If your work spouse relationship ends on a negative note, and your work husband / work wife is a vindictive person, he or she can sabotage your career in untold ways.

• A disgruntled work spouse in a position of power can negatively influence the kind of work assignments, raises, and opportunities for advancement you receive.

• A work spouse relationship can cause your coworkers to have a lower perception of your job performance.

• If your work husband or work wife is your superior, your co-workers will attribute your job advancement to your work spouse relationship, no matter how hard you work or how competent you may be.

• If other co-workers feel alienated, by your work spouse relationship, you and your work spouse could be accused of creating a hostile environment in the workplace.

• Even if your work spouse relationship is not a workplace affair, it can give the perception of being one.

If you are a work wife or work husband, and you’re wondering if your work spouse relationship could lead to a workplace affair, take my Work Spouse Quiz to see if your office spouse relationship is in the danger zone. For a free copy of the Work Spouse Quiz, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with the words “work spouse quiz-b” in the subject line.

For more information about infidelity and workplace affairs, visit www.InfidelityAdvice.com

Do Work Spouse Relationships Lead to Workplace Affairs?

Work husband, work wife, work spouse, office wife, office husband, office spouse --

These are all terms used to describe a fairly new type of workplace relationship between co-workers of the opposite sex that’s very similar to a marriage.

These work spouse relationships are becoming increasingly more common.

Work Spouse Statistics

In a recent survey on socializing in the workplace conducted by Randstad USA, 53% of women and 42% of men said they had a work or office spouse.

A survey conducted among a variety of industries by Vault.com found that 32% of the respondents reported having a work husband or work wife.

Are Work Spouse Relationships Harmless?

Some people say work spouse relationships are harmless. I totally disagree. My comments on this topic appear in the current issue of Human Resource Executive.

The article, by Julie Cook Ramirez, entitled Working Marriages discusses the pros and cons of workplace relationships between work husbands and work wives.

Excerpts from the Human Resource Executive article appear below.

By definition, work-spouse relationships are platonic. However, it's the potential for hanky panky that makes relationship experts leery of such associations. Ruth Houston, an Elmhurst, N.Y.-based infidelity expert, founder of www.infidelityadvice.com and author of Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs says it's all too easy for these relationships to morph into affairs.

"Sooner or later, the friendship becomes an emotional bond that can become a sexual bond if the opportunity presents itself," says Houston. "And more likely than not, it will happen because they're going to have to work late together or they're going to stop after work for drinks or travel somewhere together, and they're going to end up doing something that takes it to the next level."

Potential Workplace Affairs

As you can see, I believe a work spouse relationship is a workplace affair waiting to happen. The bonds formed between a work husband and a work wife are almost identical to the bonds between two people involved in an emotional affair. And emotional affairs are a precursor to sexual affairs. That’s why I caution work spouses to tread carefully. Today’s work spouse relationship could easily become tomorrow’s workplace affair. Some work spouse relationships are already in the danger zone.

Is Your Work Spouse Relationship in the Danger Zone?

If you’re in a work spouse relationship and are wondering if it could lead to a workplace affair, take my Work Spouse Quiz to see if your relationship with your work husband or work wife falls in the danger zone. For a free copy of the Work Spouse Quiz, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with the words “work spouse quiz-b” in the subject line.

Problems Work Spouse Relationships Can Cause

Work spouse relationships can cause a multitude of problems on both a personal and a professional level – even if they don’t turn into workplace affairs. In my next post I’ll list a few of these problems so you can see that work spouse relationships are not so harmless after all.

When Financial Infidelity is a Sign of Sexual Infidelity

Though neither of the two landmark studies on financial infidelity mentioned it, financial infidelity can often be a sign of sexual or marital infidelity. If both parties in the marriage or relationship have freely shared financial information in the past, and one party (usually it’s the man) suddenly becomes secretive about money matters or begins withholding information about spending habits, it’s usually a sign of sexual infidelity.

When Men are Financially Deceptive

If a man is involved in an extramarital affair, sooner or later it will be reflected in the family finances. A cheating husband will resort to financial infidelity so he can cover up the fact that he’s spending money on his mistress. Affairs cost money. If he’s wining and dining the Other Woman, and buying her gifts, he’s certainly not going to be honest and above board about these changes in his spending habits.

When Women are Financially Deceptive

Women can also be financially deceptive. However, many times a woman’s financial infidelity is directly related to sexual infidelity on the part of her husband. If a woman suspects or has found out that her husband is cheating on her or having an extramarital affair, she may start putting money aside in order to financially protect herself and the children. This is especially true if she’s preparing for divorce, or feels that her husband may be planning to surprise her with divorce papers. A wife’s financial infidelity will often take the form of siphoning off small sums of money from the household budget or joint bank accounts.

NOTE: If you find that your spouse or significant other’s financial infidelity is related to sexual infidelity, you might want to request my free tip sheet entitled How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand. There’s a condensed version posted on the website, but you can get a free copy of the detailed version by e-mailing InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words “Upper Hand-b” in the subject line.

Financial Deception Can Indicate Other Problems

Financial infidelity is not always a sign of sexual infidelity, but it’s usually an indication of some type of problem in the relationship. It could be anything from a communication problem between the couple, to a gambling problem or substance abuse (drug or alcohol) problem on the part of the one withholding information about his or her spending habits or financial matters. One thing is certain, however; financial infidelity is usually just the tip of the iceberg.

Financial deception can also be an indication of other kinds of deception. A person who can’t be honest with his or her marriage mate or significant other about financial affairs, may be dishonest about other important areas as well. If you stumble across signs of financial infidelity in your relationship, you definitely need to take a closer look.

For a free tip sheet which lists 9 Signs of Financial Infidelity, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with “financial-b2” in the subject line. The signs in this tip sheet are taken from Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (Lifestyle Publications, $29.95) which lists 52 financially-related signs of infidelity in the chapter on Financial Affairs.


For more information about the link between financial infidelity and sexual infidelity or marital infidelity, checkout the article entitled Financial Infidelity Often Accompanies Sexual Infidelity posted on my website at www.InfidelityAdvice.com

Are You Guilty of Financial Infidelity?

Lately we’ve been hearing a lot about financial infidelity. According to 2 surveys, financial infidelity (dishonesty about spending habits or other financial matters) is a problem in almost 1/3 of all marriages or committed relationships.

Financial Infidelity Can Take Many Forms

Financial infidelity can range from harmless financial fibbing to serious financial deception. It takes many forms and can include lying about how much you spent for a purchase, keeping a secret bank account, or major misrepresentation of your financial status.

Are you guilty of financial infidelity? Take this quiz and find out. Below is a Financial Infidelity Quiz I designed for Sonya Potter of KDSK to accompany her cover story on Overcoming Financial Infidelity posted on the KDSK News Channel website last week.

Are You Guilty of Financial Infidelity? – a quiz

A quiz by Infidelity Expert Ruth Houston
founder of InfidelityAdvice.com
and author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs

Financial infidelity can take many forms. Answer yes or no to the 15 questions below to see if you’re guilty of financial infidelity. The first 5 questions deal with fairly harmless forms of financial deception. The last 5 questions deal with financial betrayal of a more serious kind. Your score will show you where on the financial infidelity scale you fall.

1. Do you spend small sums of money or make minor purchases without telling your partner?

2. Do you sneak purchases into your home?

3. Do you lie or have you ever lied to your partner about the cost of something you bought?

4. Do you hide bills, receipts, or credit card statements from your mate?

5. Do you give or loan money to your family or friends without telling your spouse?

6. Do you spend large sums of money or make major purchases without telling your partner?

7. Is your spouse unaware of how much you spend on meals, entertainment, clothing, or personal expenditures?

8. Have you concealed your credit history from your spouse?

9. Do you have one or more credit cards your spouse doesn’t know about?

10. Have you purposely concealed your salary or annual income from your spouse?

11. Have you liquidated assets without your spouse’s knowledge or consent?

12. Do have one a bank account your spouse doesn’t know about?

13. Do you have outstanding loans or debts that your spouse doesn’t know about?

14. Do you have assets (property, investments, etc) that your spouse doesn’t know about?

15. Have you misrepresented your financial status to your spouse?

Add up your points as follows:

0 for every no answer
1 point for every yes answer in questions 1-5
2 points for every yes answer in questions 6-10
3 points for every yes answer in questions 11-15

Your total score indicates where on the financial infidelity scale you fall.

Less than 5 points– Harmless financial fibbing
5 – 14 – Major financial deception
15-25 – Extreme financial infidelity

© copyright 2007 Ruth Houston, founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com All rights reserved.

Don’t Take Financial Infidelity Lightly

Financial infidelity should not be taken lightly. It’s often linked to sexual infidelity. For more about this, see the article entitled Financial Infidelity Often Accompanies Sexual Infidelity on my website at www.InfidelityAdvice.com

Take this quiz together with your spouse or significant other and compare answers.

FREE Financial Infidelity Tip Sheet

If your partner refuses to take this quiz with you or share their answers and you think he or she could be guilty of financial infidelity, request my FREE tip sheet entitled 9 Signs of Financial Infidelity. Send an email to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with “financial-b” in the subject line.

Both the Financial Infidelity Tip Sheet and the Financial Infidelity Quiz are based on information taken from the chapter on Financial Affairs in Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, which lists 52 financially-related signs of infidelity.

Click here for more information about Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs

Both men and women can be financially deceptive at times. In my next post I’ll discuss specific circumstances when each one can be guilty of financial infidelity, and give you some guidelines on how to tell when financial infidelity is a sign of sexual infidelity.